The curtain has risen, the final act starts.
The players are ready to tackle their parts.
They’ll make their announcements, the stage is all set.
They’re looking their best, they’ve flown in by jet.
Then after the show, when it’s time to depart,
No bus, tram or train line, no bike or dog cart,
Just a big gleaming car with an engine well tuned,
And swish leather seating, their lives so cocooned.
Now what was it out there they said on the stage?
Environment issues must be all the rage.
They’re looking for chances of saving the day,
Don’t follow their actions, just words that they say.
We’ve just signed a trade deal, through new arctic routes,
Now spring has come early to judge by the shoots.
They’re holding a summit to talk of blue tongue,
To get better prices they’ve flown to Hong Kong.
The oil price rising, we’ll fight for supplies.
Oh damn these mosquitoes and terrible flies.
October was balmy, not Costa Del Sol,
More Costa Del Blackpool and flooding in Hull.
The water is rising, it’s got pretty bad,
Though wiping out Flanders would be very sad.

I’d rather flat land when I get on my bike,
As pushing up hills is a terrible hike.
I’d much sooner go out and get in the car,
The journey to work really doesn’t seem far.
I sit in my own metal box on the road,
And swear at the lorries for pulling their load.
My carbon emissions can’t do that much harm,
To cycle in traffic I’d never stay calm.
I feel fairly safe, as I sit in this queue,
I could take a short-cut, the turning’s in view.
My four wheel drive vehicle that’s meant for dirt track,
Drives well over pavement. The kids in the back,
Must start their school day at the sound of the bell,
If we’re five minutes late, they’ll all give me hell.
There’s tree planting service, they have to attend,
Then letters on clearing rain forest to send.
They’re working to save now some species that’s rare,
A dutiful parent, I’m proud that they care.
Then when school has finished, as their special treat,
I’m driving them all out for something to eat.
We’re planning a holiday next to the sea,
I thought Egypt, Cyprus, or maybe Turkey.
It’s better we fly somewhere hot for the week,
We’re being extended, the house will be bleak.
We’re cutting the trees from the side of the pool,
To build on a sun deck the kids will think ‘cool’.
We’re putting a chimney back into the room,
So roaring log fires can brighten the gloom.
We would make it coal, but the price is too high,
We’ll keep the felled trees ‘til the wood is quite dry.

Then when I grow old and I sit in my chair,
With oil fields left empty, resource cupboards bare,
I’ll think of the days when we used to have snow,
When spring came in April and grass didn’t grow
Throughout the whole winter, the ground was less soaked,
Whilst Earth in a layer of ozone was cloaked.