Vanessa’s famous for her fame:
A pseudonym : you know her name.
Daddy Dear, having won a pile,
Died so Vanny can live in style;
She put Poor Mummy well away
But visits every Christmas Day;
Won a minor daytime Game-show
(Games like a Pro, show as in Panto):
TV Reality : the worst
Where spontaneity’s rehearsed;
Did something then, I’m not sure what:
Tabloids screamed SHOCK! but soon forgot.
Now she parties night after night
Cleavage promising deep delight;
Eyes her world through a champagne mist
And comes home well and truly kissed;
Skimpy skirt with nothing beneath,
Smiling with nothing but her teeth;
Wink inciting, lips delicious,
Body – like her soul – lubricious.
Fancy-free, a popular guest,
Sports with all and snorts with the best;
An open-minded open gal
Eager to give her All to Al
(Alan - Al - was her first affair
But Others always wait out there),
In and out for what she can get,
Knows diamonds are a girl’s best bet;
Loves all weddings and honeymoons,
Would try some with the right tycoons;
Ever playful, still tries to shock,
Captured sucking a lover’s sock.
Genuine fashion, nothing sham,
Generous glitz, guaranteed glam;
Owns a Porsche and pink Mercedes,
Luxuries for leggy ladies;
Pampers a Peke with attitude,
Tit-bits snapped with ingratitude.
Snake-like slim, she eats like a horse,
Caviar with tomato sauce,
Spikes Cola Light with Chardonnay,
Throws up most in an alleyway.
If interviewed she speaks her mind,
Words of the well, like, sort of, kind;
If called vacuous to her face
Accepts the compliment with grace;
Thinks global warming is a boon,
Sings karaoke half in tune;
Endorses make-up for a fee,
Makes up gossip, offers this free;
Shadows shadows, sneaks into cliques,
Drip-feeds Glossies with luscious leaks.
Not unique: she’s one of a type
Lifted high by media hype,
As fame clings to fame, rich to rich,
Darling to Darling, Bitch to Bitch.